I wonder dad if i’m anything like you. I wish I actually felt like I knew you but apparently all I saw was a misconception. I wished you were happy while you were with us. I wish I knew you as a happy person. I thought you were.. but hearing of you now i’m told you were going through too many battles with yourself. How could you tell me how hard it is to live without a father just a week before you left. You must have been so lost. I’m not mad at you. I just miss you. I want my father. I wanted you to be the one suffocating me with your fears of me growing up. I wanted you to be the one man that had my best interest at heart. I wanted you to scare my boyfriends and eventually walk me down the isle some day. I wanted to always know that you would be here for me. I wanted to see how proud you are of me. Hearing that as a comfort from people isn’t always enough.. I want to know that you are aware of me and watching over me. I wish I could see you. I wish I could hear your voice. I cant imagine going through the rest of my life without all of this. I cant imagine being old and still not having any of this. Really, I cant.